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How to Talk to Parents about Needing More Help at Home

The problems of aging often leave family caregivers speechless. What does an adult daughter say to her dad when he’s hit a light pole with the car? How does a grown son ask his mom if she’s taking her medications like she should? And how do adult siblings approach their parents about needing more help at home? Care professionals who work with seniors regularly see families perplexed by these issues.

Sensitive issues like these prompted Home Instead Senior Care to launch a public education campaign designed to help family caregivers bridge the communication gap when it comes to discussing sensitive subjects with senior family members.

The campaign is based upon original research conducted in the U.S. and Canada by Home Instead Senior Care, which revealed that nearly one-third of adults in the U.S. have a major communication obstacle with their parents that stems from continuation of the “parent-child role.”* In other words, it can be difficult for many Baby Boomers to initiate this type of conversation because senior parents may still be dealing with their grown sons or daughters as if they’re still children, rather than mature adults.

“Because of this parent-child role obstacle, adult children may wait until an emergency or crisis happens before talking to parents,” Hogan said. “Our goal with the 40-70 campaign is to provide practical ways for adult children to talk to their parents now. We’ve seen lack of communication lead to various problems such as misuse of medications, self neglect, even accidents.”

The survey found that Boomers have the most difficulty talking with their parents about independence-related issues, such as older adults continuing to live in their own homes. Most parents’ desire to remain independent makes it challenging for their adult children to address sensitive issues such as health (28 percent) and money (21 percent).

“Communication is the core of our social lives,” Harwood said. “Without caring, effective communication, none of our relationships would survive.” Harwood and Hogan agree that good communication also helps seniors adapt to changing life circumstances, and it enables families to know when it’s time to seek additional resources. Often, both adult children and their loved ones can benefit from outside home care help, such as that provided by Home Instead CAREGivers,” said Hogan. “But the only way that will happen is if they can talk about it.”

For more information about Home Instead Senior Care’s survey, go to http://www.4070talk.com.